Daily Jokes to Beat the Boredom » Quote

Quote And Counter-quote.

admin — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:37:05 +0000

Woman’s Quote of the Day:

“Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you’d like to have dinner with.”

Men’s Counter-Quote of the Day:

“Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.”

Love The Dentist Quote

admin — Mon, 18 May 2009 19:24:07 +0000

I love to go to the dentist. A man in white hovering over me while I’m trapped helpless in a chair. He cleans me. He flosses me. His instruments alive in my mouth.

And just when I don’t think I can take it anymore, he says, ‘Good girl, Marcie, you can spit now.’ – Marcie, from the “Married With Children” sitcom.

Quote On Monica

admin — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:56:42 +0000

What did Clinton say when commenting on Monica?

She has the whitest teeth I’ve ever cum across.

Beer Quote

admin — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 13:55:48 +0000

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. –Benjamin Franklin

Gene Simmons Quote

admin — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 07:55:31 +0000

I’m Jewish, you pay me, I don’t pay you.

Golf Quote

admin — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 15:55:36 +0000

From the New Zealand Dominion Sunday Times, 25th October:

“I’ll take the 2-stroke penalty, but I’ll be damned if I play it where it lies”
-Golfer Elaine Johnson, after her shot ricoheted off a tree into her bra.

Best Quote From The Liberal Bating Fad In Rec.humor

admin — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 17:55:48 +0000

If guns are outlawed, what will we shoot liberals with?

Sam Midkiff

Missappropriated Churchill Quote

admin — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 09:56:03 +0000

A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.
”You, sir, are drunk!”
”And you ma’am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!”

Missappropriated Churchill Quote

admin — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 06:56:11 +0000

Quote From Steve Wright

admin — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 08:56:19 +0000

Steve Wright:

I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. Every once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.”