Q. What have working in Preston (a town in England) and a pubic hair on a toilet seat got in common?

A. You’re O.K for a while but then you get pissed off.

What’s the difference between light and hard?

You can go to sleep with the light on.

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Q: What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist?

A: A chemist will drink anything that is distilled.

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist’s head is so much bigger.

Q: What’s the difference between a girl and a toilet?

A: A toilet doesn’t want to cuddle after you drop a load into it.

What is the difference between a man and a carp??

One is a scum sucking bottom feeder, and one is a fish!!

What’s the difference between a mans paycheck and his dick?

He can always find a girl to blow his paycheck!

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a rooster?

A: In the morning a rooster says, “Cock’ll-doodl-doooo”, while a blonde says, “Any-cock’ll-doooo.”

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

A: A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out of it.