This blond goes in to a salon to get her hair cut. She’s wearing a pair of headphones, and the stylist says that he can’t cut her hair with the headphones on.

She replies “No, you have to cut around the headphones, I can’t take them off”.

They argue about this for a few minutes, he finally agrees to cut her hair around the headphones, but he will have to charge her extra. She says, “That’s ok, go ahead and cut it”.

So he cuts her hair, and although it looks strange because of the headphones, she’s happy with it. So a few weeks later she comes in again.

Again she wants her hair cut around the headphones. He says, “No way, not
this time, this time I’m taking the headphones off”.

So he takes off the headphones and throws them on the floor. He starts cutting her hair, and a few minutes later, she falls out of the chair to the floor, dead.

He wonders what in the world is happening, so he picks up the headphones and puts them on.

He hears “breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out…”

Q: What is the difference between the panama canal and a blond?

A: One is a busy ditch and the other is a dizy bitch.

Q: How are bob barker and lorena bobbit different?

A: One is a slick pricer and the other is a prick slicer

Q: How is a blond like a screen door?

A: The harder you slamm them the looser they become

Q: How do elephants hide in the jungle?

A: Paint there balls green and lay on their backs in a watermelon patch

Q: How did tarzan die?

A: Thumping watermelons

Q: How are a turtle and a blond similar?

A: Put them on their backs and they are phucked

Q: Why did the blond have a big belly button?

A: Her boyfriend was blond too!

Did you hear about the dead blonde terrorists?

They died faxing a letter bomb.

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I hope you enjoy this Humor list as much as I do. Of course I once was a blonde. Sara

There is a blonde in a boat, in the middle of a field, rowing away. Another blonde drives by in her car and sees the women, in the boat, in the field rowing away.

The blonde in the car stops, jumps out and yells, “Hey you… It’s women like you who give blondes a bad name!! And if I knew how to swim I would come out there and KICK YOUR ASS!!!”

Q: What goes VAROOM Screech! VAROOM Screech! VAROOM Screech!?

A: A blond driving through a blinking red light. =;-{)

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(No insinuations meant, as I myself am a blonde)

I don’t know if some of these have been posted here before, so here goes…

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Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: How does a blonde spell farm?

A: E-I-E-I-O

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?

A: She drowns it.

Q: A blonde is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?

A: She thought it was diet-coke.

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?

A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

A: The noise was giving her a headache.

Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?

A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: Why did the blonde fail her driving test?

A: Every time she stopped the car, she jumped in the back seat.

Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?

A: She opens the car door.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?

A: Artificial Intelligence.

Q: What do you call a brunette between management & a blonde?

A: An interpreter.

A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, “What is that?”

The store clerk responds, “It’s a thermos.”

The blond then asks, “What does it do?”

The clerk says “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” So she buys one.

The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, “What is that shiny object?”

She replies “It’s a thermos.”

He asks, “What does it do?”

She says, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”

He then asks, “What do you have in there?”

“Two cups of coffee and an ice cream.”

• The water-proof towel
• Glow in the dark sunglasses
• Solar powered flashlights
• Submarine screen doors
• A book on how to read
• Inflatable dart boards
• A dictionary index
• Mechanical Pencil sharpeners
• Powdered water
• Pedal-powered wheel chairs
• Waterproof tea bags
• The helicopter ejector seat

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A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
– Groucho Marx

The plane is on its way to Houston , when a blonde in economy class gets up

and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She

then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will

have to sit back in her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston , and

I’m staying right here.”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the

co-pilot that there is a blonde sitting in first class who belongs in

economy and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she

only paid for economy, she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Houston , and

I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police

waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she’s a blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m

sorry.” And she gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to

make her move without any fuss.

He replies, “I told her, `First class isn’t going to Houston .’”

Why are dumb blonde jokes only one liners?

So men can understand them!