Q: What is a chord?
A: Three violists playing in unison.

A harp is a nude piano.

Q: Why are organists like a broken-winded cab horse?
A: They are always longing for another stop.

Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong?
A: King Kong is more sensitive.

Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!

Q: What’s the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

The annoying drumsThis guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks “Wow, this is cool.” He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.

This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can’t sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.

When he gets there, he asks the manager, “Hey! What’s with these drums. Don’t they ever stop? I can’t get any sleep.”

The manager says, “No! Drums must never stop. It’s very bad if drums stop.”

“Why?”

“When drums stop…bass solo begins.”

Q: How do you know when a drum solo’s really bad?
A: The bass player notices.

Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.