Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?


A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

There’s a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.


In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact


that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.

A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.


He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going


to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to


marry.”


The mother agrees.


The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.


He then says, “Okay, Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”


She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”


“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you


know?


The Jewish mother replies, “I don’t like her.”

In a move that shocked all economic forecasters, the nation of Isreal, bought two tire companies that fell into financial trouble. Goodyear and Firestone. In an effort to change the public image of both and give them a much needed make over, they were both renamed and a new logo created. Goodyear became Goodberg and Firestone became Firestien. the new logo; Tires so good, not only can they stop on a dime, but they can also pick it up.

A Jewish mother was seen running along the beach screaming, “Help! Help! My son, the doctor, is drowning!”

A Jewish grandmother was pushing her grandson in a stroller along the edge of the surf on the beach. Suddenly, a giant wave swelled up and crashed over the two of them, taking the little boy out to sea. The grandmother threw her hands up and shouted, “Oh, G*d! Oh, G*d! Don’t let this happen! Bring back my little bushkin! I can’t live without him! I beg you, please!”


With that, the wave returned and the little boy was placed at his grandmother’s feet. She scooped him up in her arms, looked up to heaven and said, “He had a hat!”

“Honor”

Two Japanese businessmen were talking during their dip in the hot baths

at the geisha house.

“Hirokosan, I have unpleasant news for you. Your wife is dishonoring you.”

Upset, Hirokosan asked for more information.

“More, she is dishonoring you with a foreigner who is of the Jewish faith.”

Shocked, Hirokosan went home to confront his wife. “I am told you are

dishonoring me with a foreigner of the Jewish faith.”

“That is a lie!” she replied, outraged. “Where did you hear such mishegass?”

what is the diffrence between a jew and a cheese pizza?

the chees pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven.

there are 3 israelis AVI GOLAN AND NIR. these guys are smart as can be. these three just finished high school and they fly all the way from tel aviv israel to cancun. they get to cancun and saw only girls. but girls that you will die for. AVi GOLAN and NIR were the pimps in cancun. they would have sex with each and every girls when they disere. untill one day the kind returned form his palace and found out AVI GOLAN and NIR had sex with his girls. the man caught the 3 guys and said you GOLAN what does your dad do for a living? he says ” my dad works with chainsaws. the king simply takes a chain saw takes his private off. the second man NIR what does your dad do for a living? NIR says “my dad works with steak knives” the kind got a steak knife and cut his private off. the 3rd one AVI was smart his dad worked with guns. the king asks AVI what does your dad do for a living? “my dad sells ice cream bars so bend down and start licking” the kind shut up and walked away.