What happened to the Jewish man with an erection, who walked into a wall?

He broke his nose!

A young, single man, having no family, often ate at a restaurant in the center of the city of Chelm. He knew the owner Moishe and he ate there regularly. The only other restaurant in Chelm, Chaim’s, was located directly across the street from Moishe’s.

One day, the young man went to eat at Chaim’s and when Moishe saw what happened, he was totally distraught. He said, “how can you not eat at my place? Are we not like family?” The young man replied that indeed they were.

Moishe asked,”Isn’t my food good?” The young man replied that the food was delicious and that the portions were exceedingly generous. Moishe then asked, “so why did you go eat at Chaim’s restaurant on the other side of the street?”

The young man replied that he had terrible toothache on his molar on the far left side of his mouth. He was told that the intinerant dentist would not be in town for another week. Therefore, the young man explained to Moishe, “I went to the Rabbi and asked what to do to ease the pain. The Rabbi replied, ‘eat on the other side,’ so, I went to the other side and ate at Chaim’s.”

there was a jewish guy an asian guy and an aussie in an airoeplane that was about to crash. the needed to get rid of as much weight as possible so the jewish guy chuks some bread out the window and says we jewish people have got enough of this and the asain guy chuked a tamagotchi out and said my people have enough of these so then the aussie threw the asian guy out the window and said we have way to may of these in australia

this ladie needed new blinds so she rung up the company and said i need sum new blinds and they said ok i will be there tommorow.

so the next day the ladie decided to have a shower and while she was in the shower the door bell rang and she asked who is it and he said it is the blind man so thinking that the guy was blind she goes out naked and opened the door and the guy said nice tits

GET IT the blind man HAHAHAHAHAHA =)

WANKERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how do u no if an asain family have broken into your house ?

ANSWER= your homework will be done ur computer will be uprgraded and they will still be driving out the driveway.

A woman stopped by at her son’s house,rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law on the couch,totally naked. Soft music was playing,and the aroma of perfume filled the room.


What was a nice Jewish girl like her doing lounging around naked?? she thought….


“What are you doing?” she asked.


“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work” the daughter-in-law said.


“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.


“This is my love dress” the daughter-in-law explained.


“Love dress? But you’re naked!”


“My husband loves me to wear this dress” she explained. “It excites him no end.Every time he sees me in this dress,he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours. He can’t get enough of me”


The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to


arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.


“What are you doing?” he asked.


“This is my love dress,” she whispered,sensually.

“Needs ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?”

Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother?


A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came


back.


She replied, “So did my arthritis.”

Q: What’s a Jewish American Princess’ favorite position?


A: Facing Bloomingdale’s!

Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?


A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.