Daily Jokes to Beat the Boredom » Food Jokes

Purchasing Power Of Burgers

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 14:58:52 +0000

A simple alternative, now that McDonald’s has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.

“A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany can just barely obtain four Big Macs,” the IW said.

Conclusion: based on the Big Mac index, the dollar is undervalued, the institute said.

Americans can get their best Big Mac buy these days in Moscow, where one sandwich costs only about 59 cents.

But Russians must “work nearly two days in order to afford this meaty capitalist achievement – longer than people in any other country”, the IW said.

We Could Have Been Here Sooner

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 13:58:52 +0000

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.”

“Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”

Food One-liner

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 12:58:52 +0000

On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.

Food Fight In A Store

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 11:58:52 +0000

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the man’s mouth.

You Can Now Eat Your Own Plate

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 10:58:52 +0000

Taipei, Taiwan (AP) – Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further – eat the plate.

Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected an edible plate made from wheat grain, and that he planned to mass-produce it and other edible crockery including cups, bowls and food containers.

Chen spent six years developing the plate, which he said would retail at about 7 cents each.

Diners who don’t want to eat the items – which taste like unsalted popcorn – can boil them for a nutritious meal for animals, he said.

Chen said this can help reduce pollution caused by discarded crockery. The only disadvantage, he said, is his crockery cannot be washed and reused.

Food One-liner

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 09:58:52 +0000

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

A Great Fruit Cake Recipie

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 08:58:52 +0000

You’ll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.

Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.

Food One-liner

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 07:58:52 +0000

A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

Food One-liner

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 06:58:52 +0000

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called “The Fission Chips.”

A Practical Joke Involving Jello

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2004 05:58:52 +0000

Here’s a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:

A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks of people who inserted cold masses of gelatinous glop into a mouth that was expecting sweets, the experience is unexplainably horrifying! Some claimed to be nauseated by the feel of it; others politely swallowed.