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Archive for the ‘Famous Quotes Jokes’ Category


Famous Mothers

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

MONA LISA’S MOTHER: “After all that money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”

COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: “I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you still could have written!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: “Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: “All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: “Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

MARY’S MOTHER: “I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: “But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”

JONAH’S MOTHER: “That’s a nice story. Now tell me where you’ve really been for the last forty years.”

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!”

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew.”

“behind Every Successful Man Is A Surprised Woman.”

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Maryon Pearson

“things Are Going To Get A Lot Worse Before They Get Worse. “

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Lily Tomlin

“keep Your Eyes Wide Open Before Marriage, Half Shut Afterwards.”

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Benjamin Franklin

“never Go To Bed Mad. Stay Up And Fight.”

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Phyllis Diller

“a Male Gynecologist Is Like An Auto Mechanic Who Never Owned A Car.”

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Carrie Snow

“i Base Most Of My Fashion Taste On What Doesn’t Itch.”

Monday, June 7th, 2004

Gilda Radner