A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Hello, Patricia Whack. I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”
Patti looks at this frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000 and the teller asks him his name, and the frog says it’s Kermit Jagger, he’s the adopted pet of Mick Jagger and that it’s ok, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything that he can use as collateral. The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and leaves the room. She finds the manager and says, “There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know Mick Jagger and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral.” She holds up the tiny pink elephant and asks, “What the heck is this?”
The bank manager looks her in the eye and says:”It’s a knick knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson rapes little kids.

A young boy asks his Priest if God is a man or a woman.

The Priest decides to tease the boy and answers that God is both.

The boy then asks if God is black or white. Again the answer is both.

Next question, is God gay or straight. Once more the answer is both.

The boy then asks “Father, is Michael Jackson God??”

You are a child of the 80′s If…



*You know what a “burnout” is.

*You owned/operated a ‘Trapper Keeper’

*You know what “Psych” means.

*Once, while spending hours in the arcade, you actually lined up quarters on the top panel of the game — to “reserve” your spot.

*You know the profound meaning of “Wax on, Wax off”.

*You know that another name for a keyboard is a “Synthesizer”.

*You can name at least half of the members of the elite “Brat Pack”.

*You know who Tina Yothers is.

*You wanted to be a Goonie.

*You felt ashamed when Rob Lowe got in trouble for sex with minors and videotaping it, because you liked him.

*You had top-of-the-line Commodore 64s in your jr. high computer lab

*You know who Max Headroom is.

*You even wore fluorescent, neon if you will, clothing.

*You could breakdance, or wish you could.

*You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.

*You Believed that “By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!”

*Partying “like it’s 1999″ seemed SO far away.

*You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

*You can, right now, hum to yourself the theme to ‘Inspector Gadget’

*You wanted to be on Star Search.

*You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.

*You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth, or knew someone who did.

*You knew what Willis was “talkin’ ’bout”.

*You HAD to have your MTV

*You remember when Kramer was on a show called ‘Friday’s’

*You hold a special place in your heart for “Back to the Future”.

*You know where to go if you “wanna go where everybody knows your name”.

*You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.

*You actually thought “Dirty Dancing” was a REALLY good movie.

*You heard of Garbage Pail Kids.

*You knew “The Artist” when he was humbly called “Prince”.

*You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played “Sam” to be.

*You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system

*You own(ed) any ‘cassette singles’

*You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we’d all be living on the moon.

*You remember And/or own any of the Care Bear Glass collection from Pizza Hut. Or any other stupid collection they came out with.

*Poltergeist freaked you out.

*You carried you lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.

*You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

*You know what a Doozer is.

*You wore bike shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or knew someone who did.

*You ever had a Swatch Watch.

*You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.

*You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.

*You know what a “Whammee” is..

If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a “Child of the 80′s”.

Why is Michael Jackson’s new album entitled “Bad?”

Because he couldn’t spell “Pathetic.”

Why does Michael Jackson put dairly on his nob

What college did Michael Jackson attend?

How do you know when Michael Jackson is having a party?

1.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

2.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, ‘Darn, I almost made it!’

3.Wash you hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

4.Wear papertowels wrapped around your head and pretend you’re Erykah Badu.

5.Write on the wall of a women’s bathroom ‘Tom was here.’ In the men’s bathroom write ‘Michael Jackson was here.’

6.Ask a person in the stall next to you for a tampon.

7.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

8.For women, stand in front of the toilet.

9.Scream ‘Ohh it burns!’ as you use the bathroom.

10.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that you can’t get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?" "Both son, both." The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"